Let’s Connect? Thanks, But No Thanks!
21st April 2009
I’m pretty active on a number of social networking sites including, Twitter and Facebook. However it was a rejection on LinkedIn that really felt like a kick in the teeth.
As I go about my daily activities I meet many different types of business owners. Some of these are associates that I work with regularly, some are clients or potential clients and some are people I meet at networking events. The latter types I often feel may be of interest to me or my clients either now or in the future and as such I’m always happy to swap business cards. If you cultivate ‘business networking’ as part of your own company’s marketing strategy, then you’ll know what I’m talking about here.
Increasingly over the last year or so, I’ve started to use the various social networking sites as a support tool for my offline business networking activities. What this basically entails is:
- I meet someone at networking event and we strike up a rapport.
- I find out of they are on Facebook, Twitter or LinkedIn etc and send them a request to “connect” or to “friend” with me (the terminology changes according to the social site, but the idea is the same as you know).
- If they feel the same way, they reciprocate and we connect. This in turn allows us to develop our relationship online as much or as little as we want.
- The next time we meet in person, there’s an increased feeling of commonality between us because of our online-connection and as such, our business relationship develops which in turn could lead to some business between us. That, and its good fun too!
When I recently met a local business owner who operates in the corporate hospitality sector at a networking event, naming no names here, I was quite intrigued by what he had to say and the possibility of synergies (how I hate that word) in how our businesses could benefit each other. So when I got back into the office I went online, took a look at his website and looked him up on the various social networking sites I subscribe to. There he was on LinkedIn, so I sent him a connection request.
Back came the terse reply, “Who are you?” I responded with a polite description of where we’d met the previous day and the basis of our discussion. “Ah yes, I remember” he said in his response after which he continued to describe how he only connected with people he felt would be useful to his business. Huh! “Having reviewed my LinkedIn profile” and “considering our discussions” he went on to say, “I feel that you will be of no use to me” and as such he retorted, “I do not wish to connect with you on LinkedIn.”
Consequently my connection request was rejected.
Well blow me down!
Initially I was a bit stunned at this reaction before feeling hurt and then insulted. Now don’t me wrong I’m a pretty thick skinned sort of a bloke and am unmoved by any connection request that simply gets deleted anonymously. But it’s the mechanism of this rejection that bit deep!
Who is this guy? How can he take a decision like he did based upon a 10 minute chat and a LinkedIn profile view? How does he know I don’t work alongside a company who could turn into his biggest client? Well one thing’s for sure he’ll never find out from me, because this online rejection felt like a physical blow. As a result you can bet your bottom dollar that if I ever meet this guy again in the flesh, without actually saying anything, the relationship between us will have changed for the worse.
What this story illustrates is the importance of etiquette when it comes to online networking.
As in the real world it’s important to be polite and courteous with people and to treat them properly. After all, you wouldn’t reject another person outright if you met them face-to-face. Not only is it bad manners it also leaves you open to a punch in the mouth and quite frankly you don’t know when you’ll come across them again or how they could possibly help your business in the future.
Why burn your bridges?
One’s thing for sure however, I’ll remember my ‘corporate hospitality’ guy allright; but for all the wrong reasons.
Nadine Hill Says:
Wow Jaimie, how rude was this guy!!
It sounds like he doesn’t ‘get’ the power of social networking and has actually shot himself in the foot. I know you are too discreet to name names but if I ever meet a man in corporate hospitality on the local networking circuit in Yorkshire (which isn’t THAT big), I will be wondering if this is the guy? Plus I’d test him by asking if he’s on LinkedIn. Once I find it is the chap, he’ll have blown off any chance with me too, as I know how he treats other people!
You are right – no-one else really knows who else we know. I could be in a position to introduce you to your ideal kind of client but I’m certainly not going to give away my trusted contacts and friends away easily – whomever I know has to earn my trust first, just as I do with them. If this guy thought that he’d better get on LinkedIn to do some networking, he should have taken the time to learn about some basic etiquette first – or at least learn some general manners!
23rd April 2009
Amelia Vargo Says:
What a rude man! And how silly – it wouldn’t have cost him anything to be polite, but by being impolite it could cost him a lot.
27th April 2009